Trump is "feeling really good," as are the rest of these doomed fictional characters
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Donald Trump, President Of The United States, returned from the hospital last night eager to show once again just how great he’s feeling these days. Unlike the rest of the world, Trump apparently “[feels] better than I did 20 years ago!” while suffering the life-threatening effects of the coronavirus. He feels so good, in fact, that he also wanted to take the opportunity to let the public know not to let COVID-19 “dominate your life,” trusting instead in the considerable comfort that his administration, with its excellent track record so far, is ready to help with all sorts of “really great drugs & knowledge.”
The very responsible advice not to worry about an ongoing pandemic hasn’t been received exactly as it was meant by everyone, though. For whatever reason, many people reacted to Trump’s message, and his return to the White House as a free-roaming sneeze-zombie, with a cynicism developed by years of life on this planet. In order to communicate what they thought of Trump’s claims about “feeling really good,” most turned to examples from movies.
These characters, like the President, may have experienced a few setbacks, but emerged stronger and healthier from their experiences.
Video games have great examples of this, too. Who can forget when Metal Gear Solid’s Liquid Snake, already riddled with bullets and battered to a pulp by his twin brother, emerged triumphant from the wreckage of a jeep to live a long, happy life completely unaffected by viruses?
Other media does a great job of showing us just how great it feels to have COVID-19, showing that, contrary to popular belief, the damage done to a body’s organs by the virus is exhilarating—a real fountain of youth.
Just take it from Trump! The pandemic is A-OK. Anyone who says otherwise—anyone who wants you to do boring shit like wear a mask or socially distance from others—is a fear-mongering jerk who just wants to stop you from living the few remaining weeks of your life to its fullest.
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43 Comments
this will only be a clever slam if he dies
*when
he probably won’t
I mean, eventually
And then his soul will leap with dozens others into the new host…Barron.
Oh no he will definitely die.
Honestly he seems like a big enough asshole that he’ll live into his 100’s.
By then he won’t understand that getting a blood transfusion every 2 months isn’t “normal”. His many serfs will walk him to the opening of his presidential library, on a balmy 100° day in November. The opening was delayed for several decades because his attorneys recommended against putting anything incriminating in the archives and because he didn’t understand that libraries aren’t just for books.
One of his serfs will walk out from under the pile, and kick a football through the door of the library, and the former President, with a great deal of strain will mutter “See, wasn’t so hard” and immediately die. Leaving his wife, Ivanka Trump II, a widow at the age of 23.
Meh I’ve seen many stubborn assholes die unexpectedly. The health care he will continue to have access to will help him live longer than some, but saying an asshole gives one the ability to live long is like believing in witchcraft or an old wives tale. People love to say it, but it isn’t true.
I’ll take that bet
That photo-op says it all. You can tell The Great Gaspy is desperate for attention and self-validation, because he almost collapsed after that relatively quick sprint to the balcony.Such a fucked up country we live in, “led” by a vile, amoral clown loved by millions of demented idiots who cannot possibly comprehend how the rest of us aren’t impressed by this unfettered shitshow.
If everyone on the planet doesn’t begin calling him The Great Gaspy right now, there is no god. Well played!
Thanks, but not mine. Just doing my part to make sure it does happen.
https://millercenter.org/president/harrison/death-of-the-president
Is Vegas doing odds on how long he’s got? I say 5 days before he’s back in the hospital
Tbh he probably is in the hospital, in the white house.
The facilities at the White House aren’t really a substitute for a hospital. There are limits to what they could bring in to improve patient care.
Hospitals have dedicated surgical units and access to special testing equipment. You can’t haul an MRI machine into the White House and plug it into the nearest outlet.
Oh I am aware, if he’s on oxygen presumably they’d have that right?
They do now. Somebody finally figured out this one neat hack to stop Trump from sucking all the oxygen out of a room.
When he was leaving Walter Reed last night I was praying for one of the press corps to yell “Nice mask, Mr. President, biggest I’ve ever seen!”I was disappointed:(
Not bigly enough, as his neckgina was still showing.
My opinion? He’s a stupid asshole.
so brave
kill yourself
so bold.
Hey, what do you know? That’s my opinion of him too!
That’s an insult to assholes. He is an amalgamation of racist boomer memes and white privilege. Im torn between wishing he lives a long life to get his comeuppance and wishing he will succumb to this virus before the election.
He would have made it if he sold Herman Cain Beats COVID coins!
“My life for you!”. Trump’s not appearing in Vegas anytime soon, is he?
Trump’s got the hollow-eyed stare of someone who peered into his own grave. He probably figures ‘If I don’t get reelected and escape the law I might as well be dead’ so he has nothing to lose pulling these stunts.
Normally he’s just got the hollow-eyed stare of someone who is dirt-stupid.
I didn’t even know Remdesivir came in chewables
*snortables
so that’s what’s going on with don jr.!
Feeling really good! Don’t be afraid of Dip. Don’t let it dominate your life.#Toons4dip
This is good.
I was thinking of Sara Goldfarb, given that Trump’s good feeling is likely more drug high than not.
Shoot me full of steroids and pain killers and I’d probably think I was king of the world too. I’m reminded of that Monty Python plague skit where the guy on the death cart pipes up “I think I’m feeling a little better now!”
Don’t worry everyone… The Donald wouldn’t tell us he’s fine, if he’s not. Right??
Breathing like a fish out of water.
He gets that way when he’s deprived of applause for too long.